Mud Balls in the Basement - catherine whittier


I can’t seem to let go. It’s not so much the practical things. It’s the words scrawled on little slips of paper. It’s the cement-hard mud balls that were rolled up by tiny hands. It’s the heartfelt message on a Christmas tag. It’s the smooth rock from a happy shore.

Bereft of so many of my own childhood memories, I have always clung to little things. I’m so obsessed with not losing something meaningful that I have been known to dig through my children’s trash as they purge their bedrooms. “WHAT!! You can’t throw that away,” I gasp, as I snatch it and add it to my pile.

Now, don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not real big on ticket stubs or figurines.
It’s the more important things — like the little construction paper leaves we cut out at Thanksgiving time. Each of us would take one out of the basket, which sat in the center of the table, and write on it what we…

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Death trap

I don’t know about the rest of you but honestly high school isn’t survivable without music. Teachers need to understand music gets our generation through tough bits in life. We’re already trapped in hell, why can’t we have a taste of heaven while we’re there ? 

In LO we have to describe what the quote “only persistence leads to goals” means. From that I get the message to not give up but instead keep trying. Typically cliché concerning the fact all I want to do is give up lol. People just don’t know how hard life is when everything around you never fails to make you feel insignificant.

This is where society comes in. Who knew that people who go through pretty much the same shit as you, still have the energy and time to make you feel even worse. Like come on people, we’re all in this together {cue high school musical} 

Basically we’re all stuck in Death’s trap but some of us are a bit deeper in. 

We’re all dealing with the same demons but some of us are on different levels 

First step into society

When entering high school you expect it to be like the movies right ? Wrong. I expected it to be the end of my childish ways and the beginning to a new me. I had never been more wrong in my life. 

Yeah I became a new person but I also became more childish, outspoken and daring. I turned into the opposite of what I expected. I became the problem child and that’s a title that underestimates me. 

Be yourself Be the person people don’t expect you to be. People expected me to be that straight A student, work handed in on time, miss-goody-two-shoes etc. and for a while I was but then I realized I had just fallen into society’s grasp. I had been society’s expectation of myself and I began to realize I was not okay with that. 

So I changed 

And that’s when society and I started battling each other for dominance over my life.